Spamano: Spain's Broken Mask and Romano's Epiphany
by mme2100
Summary: Spain has walked out on another of our arguments. But, he hasn't shown up to school and I haven't heard a word...
1. Chapter 1

Spamano: Spain's Broken Mask and Romano's Epiphany

Authors Notes: This story is a colab with my awesome friend Evelynyamine, she wrote from Spain's perspective and I wrote from Romano's

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Romano's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter one:

I walked down the corridor and turned a corner of the school. And do you know what I fucking see?! I see my fratello and that potato bastard fucking sticking their tongues down each other's throats! So yeah, I got mad. I threw my whole fucking binder at that mother fucking bastard!

Long story short, Ludwig and I started arguing.

"Why are you so infuriating? Why don't you stop being such a dick?" he yelled. I was about to spit back a reply, but Tony came around the corner.

"Hi Lovi!" he said. We had been going out for what seemed like forever. And through all those years; he always showed up at the wrong fucking time!

"Fuck off, tomato bastard! Can't you see that I'm busy?" I said not turning to look at him.

"Why do you call me a bastard?" he said, sounding hurt.

"Because it's true!" I snap. He always asked annoying questions. I was busy and Feliciano was starting to cry. "Why don't you leave?!" I yell finally turning to him.

"You want me to leave?" he said, emerald eyes losing their luster.

"Yes! Please, go!" I yelled back. He turned and walked back down the hallway.

An hour later, I was tired and almost got into a fist fight with Ludwig. I was driving home, and a damn cop pulls me over! I argue with him and eventually cuss him out and take the ticket. Finally back home I decided to call the tomato bastard. I mean someone had to fucking pay for the damned ticket! My cell phone rings a few times before I hear the other end pick up.

"Hi Lovi!" he chirped. I pull the phone away from my ear slightly, annoyed at the loud sound.

"Don't call me that you damn bastard! And I need you to come over…" I say into the tomato red cell phone of mine. Shit, the bastard probably has the wrong idea now!

"Sure thing! Be right over!" he said before the line went dead. I sigh and sit on the couch and play some Pokémon on my old game boy. Before long I hear a nock, so I yell that it's open. He walks in.

"Hi, are you feeling better? You looked really upset earlier." he asked. Damn! The fucking bastard doesn't need to act like he cares so much! I hold the ticket in the air, not looking up from my game. He took it and examined it.

"I need you to pay it." I say flatly.

"Lovino, another ticket? I told you, if you just apologize they let you off the hook."

"Well he was pissing me off!"

"You cursed him out didn't you…?"

"Damn straight!" I look up finally to see his bright green eyes cloud.

"You need to respect others more, Lovi. Cussing out a cop is only going to make the ticket worse. And this was the third time this week that you made Feliciano cry. He is your brother and helps me pay all the tickets; you should be nicer to him." said Antonio, continuing on.

"Okay Tony! I don't need another fucking lecture! I'm not a damn child anymore!" I yelled back. His lectures and talks were getting annoying! I didn't need this. If it wasn't for Feli making everyone like him more… Everyone in the whole damned W Academy likes him better than me. I get pushed around and bullied, so it's his fault I get in so many fights! It's his fault that I have to drive away before my face is fucking punched in. So it's his fault that I speed and get pulled over by a fucking cop! So I don't need Tony's lectures when he should be lecturing Feliciano about being gay and bubbly and happy all the god damned time! I mean, how is that possible? He is either happy, or crying! Never in between!

I burry my head into the couch and sigh. Tony was staring at me; I can always tell when he does.

"Lovi calm down, please? We just need to work on your communication is a-" he started. I sat up glaring at him,

"I don't need to fucking work on anything! I'm not that bitch Feliciano! I don't change just to keep others from bitching and whining! If you're like everyone else and don't like me because of that, then there is the fucking door!" I pointed in the direction of the front entrance. Antonio sighed; he looked away, but I could feel that he was upset. He told me over and over that he loved me more than anyone and anything else. He had been telling me that since I started at the academy two years ago. But part of me couldn't believe him. He stood up hung his head and walked out.

"Fine…" I heard him whisper before closing the door softly.

"Figures!" I mumble. I bet you think that right now I feel bad, well I don't! If he is like everyone else, than who needs him! I want to believe he's different, but we argue like this at least once a month, and every time I say that he leaves. How is that different? I want to believe, but I can't. This was almost a usual now. Hell, he will probably be back tomorrow and act like nothing happened. If not, all I have to do is send a text with some mushy shit that you're not going to hear in it. Then everything will be back to normal… I'm going to go take a nap.

I laid there for a while, but couldn't fall asleep. I couldn't forget how sad he looked. I don't know what it was, but something looked… off. Oh well, whatever he could sulk all fucking day and night if he wants too. I get up deciding that there is no way I'm going to get any damn sleep. So I go to the kitchen and grab a box of tomatoes, then sit on the couch. I ate about five tomatoes flipping through shit before I found a decent show; Pokémon Diamond and Pearl. It still sucked ass, but it was better than soap operas.

I woke up at around two in the morning. Huh, must have fallen asleep. I flipped through channels again, and decided on Family Guy. I didn't like this show much either, but nothing else was on. I watched TV until the morning.

I went to school, but the bastard wasn't there. It wasn't surprising since the group of them (the BTT as the dumbasses call themselves) always skip on Fridays. I went through damn boring classes as usual. Feli forgave me for throwing my binder at Ludwig; who, I am proud to say, has a giant ass lump on his head. The bastardo disserved it! But other than that not a lot changed.

Usually Antonio texted me at lunch on Fridays, but he was probably still pouting and decided not to fucking annoy me for once. So like every day, I ate my lunch on the school roof. I started to think over the god damned argument again. It's not like I felt bad, so don't get the wrong fucking idea! It was just… something was off, and it was fucking annoying that I didn't know what! He just looked sad, and he was never sad. Even when I said stuff that should hurt his feeling, he was never sad…

I fucking hate how people think I don't love him; especially the perverts that he hangs out with. They always say stuff like 'why do you call him a bastard if you love him?' or 'why are you so cold if you really care?' They're stupid. They wouldn't understand if I fucking wrote them a letter and glued it to their ugly ass faces. I do love him, but trusting my gut or anybody else never fucking works out. So until I have a good reason to trust him, I won't. Why should I? He walks out on every argument, the bastard flirts with girls behind my back, and he doesn't even have the balls to stay in the room when I'm mad. So, why should I bother to trust him even a little? All I know is that I can't, because the one thing I know about the tomato loving bastard is that when things get hard, he runs. He fucking runs away only caring about his own sun-tanned ass! So when things get difficult, he won't have a second thought about leaving me. That is why I can't fucking trust the damned idiota!

But… Maybe I would be okay with cuddling like he wants, or letting my guard down if I knew he wouldn't leave like everyone else. They all fucking left me, and went right over to Feliciano! My mother, my father, my grandpa took us in but he always loved Feli more. I felt like I was going to puke. I decided that I would leave early and take a siesta back home. On the drive back, I see the potato and rose perverts. Of course they see my car, but they _had _to fucking run alongside it, yelling at the top of their fucking lungs and waving their arms. I flip them off and keep going. The albino manages to keep pace with the car, so I finally stop and roll down my window. Francis catches up and they both stand there panting for a second.

"Ha-have you seee- *inhale* seen Tony?" asks Gilbert.

"Why are you asking me?"

"'e took a rain check last night because 'e was going to your 'ouse. We zought zat maybe you two, ohonhonhon, finally got it on and you skipped wiz 'im. 'e didn't meet us zis morning like 'e does every Friday." Francis explained. I was about to punch him, but then it sunk in. Antonio went home. He wasn't with the perverts. He wasn't answering his phone. Deciding that I should go check on the damned idiot, I told the bastards that they should check his favorite bar and I would check his house. They nodded and went on their way. I hope he didn't do anything stupid.

I finally pulled up to the tomato bastard's house. I knocked on the door, but I didn't hear anything from inside. I got tired of waiting for the pouting bastardo and tried the handle; to my surprise, it opened… I stepped inside and called his name. When I didn't hear a reply on the sixth time I called, I decided to just walk around and look for the damn bastard. I checked all the rooms, and didn't find him. Everything was fairly neat as always. The fridge was stocked, so he shouldn't have gone to the store. The only thing out of place was one missing knife, but it was probably in the wash from cutting tomatoes. I saw his keys on the table too, and did my best to control my rising worry.

"Where the hell are you, you damn tomato loving bastard…" I mutter. After I decided that he wasn't there and took his keys, locking up for him. I stuck a note on the door saying that I wanted to talk, had his keys, and to call me in case he came. Then I drove off to check some of his favorite places. He wasn't at the hill where he likes to watch the sun set. He wasn't at any of the area's stores shopping for tomatoes. He wasn't at the gardening store getting fertilizer for some of his damned tomato plants.

Finally at about 12'o clock I got a text from the potato and French bastards. We all met back at the albino's house.

~~~~~~~~~~~time skip to at gilberts house~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They checked every single fucking bar and strip club in town and he wasn't anywhere. They even checked his favorite restaurants. So currently they were sitting at the table brain storming where he may be. And of all the stupid fucking things, I had the nervous tick of pacing. Fucking pacing! I looked retarded walking on an invisible line back and forth, but I don't care! Now I had to find Tony.

"'ey Lovino, you should sit down. Ze pacing vill make you dizzy." The French pervert said, but I ignored him and kept pacing. Then Gilbert cast me a sideways glance.

"I don't zink he actually cares, let him pace." I stopped abruptly and spun toward the potato loving bastard, my olive eyes glowing with anger.

Shut your fucking mouth, you damn bastardo! I know you think I don't care, but I do! I love him more than both of you combined! So don't fucking write me off like some man-whore!" I stopped, panting and staring at the wide eyed perverts.

"Mon ami, did you ever tell _him_ that?" said the Frenchy.

"What? Of course not!" I responded

"Why?" asked Gilbert.

"Because," I sit down. "I can't trust him not to leave. He says he loves me, but I don't know if it's true." I couldn't believe I was telling them this but I was too tired to care.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two:

I decided to spend the night with the bastards. It's not like I wanted to run the risk of being fucking raped, but since we were going to get up and keep looking it would be stupid to go home. It was early in the morning again and we all headed out, this time going in three different directions and checking with no pattern or plan. It was a fucking stupid idea, but we had no clue where the hell he was. So this was our fucking last resort. I checked every store, motel, and park in a three mile radius. We knew he had to be in town, so we called a bunch of friends. We asked a bunch of store clerks, even teachers that were out and about. No one had seen him. A couple of his other friends came and helped look, although they spent the time that they could be fucking **looking** to nag me about whether or not I cared. I had put up with this for so long. I acted like I didn't hear. But I was fucking sick of it now. I yelled at each of them, but I finally got some fucking respect! I checked another grocery store and bought some tomato juice for breakfast. I finished checking another flower shop, and he wasn't there… this disappointment is getting fucking old. I sighed finishing the red beverage and throwing the can away.

"Antonio, where the fuck are you, you tomato loving bastard?" I called to no one in particular. I heard no reply and sighed again. There were so many of us searching that you would run into each other from time to time. I ran in to the rose bastard as he hung up his phone.

"Romano, neither Mathew nor Kumajiru has seen 'im." he reported. I nodded and looked down, feeling my heart sink to my stomach. Damn! It was already 9:30 am, we had been looking for four hellish hours. I sat down on the ground. What was I supposed to do anymore? It was more than just parking tickets that I needed that idiot for. He gave me someone to cook for. Somebody to watch movies with, he gave me somebody to talk to. He was a person that bothered to tell me there problems and have me listen. He was someone who bothered to listen to me… I put my head in my hands. I felt my eyes burn but I couldn't. I can't look like some stupid ass baby, especially in front of the wine, rose, whatever the hell kind of bastard he was! I had better things to do! I had to look for Tony. But… my legs wouldn't move. And my eyes shut tighter and tighter to fight the damned tears back. Tony… he was my only friend. He was the only one who gave a rat's fat ass. A few tears dripped on the pavement. I must have looked so pathetic. My body started to shake. No one cared, and the only one who did went missing! Fucking missing! France sat beside me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and whispered some dumb ass frenchy stuff into my ear.

"Mon ami?" Assuming he was talking to me I looked up. He gave me some sympathetic look.

"What the fuck do you want." a said pushing his arm off of me.

"You really did love 'im…'e is lucky." I look a little confused. No one ever called Tony 'lucky' to be dating me. They all thought he could do better. He let out a small chuckle. "'e found someone zat loved him, zat vas devoted. Zat pledged their undying loyalty to 'im. Kind of like a dog!" he laughed.

"Did you just call me a mother fucking dog…" he chuckles and stands up.

"Let us go get le dejuner, er… lunch." I nodded feeling my empty stomach growl. I stood up as well and we met the potato bastards at a restaurant.

"Hey over here!" Gilbert waved us over. Ludwig just pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Bonjour!" Francis greeted.

"What's up! Hey did you fi- hey Romano, have you been crying?"

"Shut the fuck up!" I retourted. Every one let out a little chuckle. I sat down and sunk into my chair while the nazi bastard got food. (I don't mean to offend anybody, I have blonde hair and blue eyes myself so I meant nothing by it.) I looked through my phone to see who we _haven't _fucking called. Then I see one name stand out… Feliciano.

"Hey, pervert bastard! Has anyone called Feli?"

"I take offence to zat; and no. We decided zat he would zink he saw him and waste time running us around in circles."

"Isn't that what we are already doing? This is the fourth fucking time I ran into you in a fucking hour. It couldn't get any fucking worse!" I dial the number and wait for the other end to pick up.

"Caio Lovino! Do-a you want some-a pasta?"

"Not now, idiota! Have you seen Tony?"

"Ohh! Yeah, he-a was on the roof of the school last night and didn't look good. He was bleeding really bad, so I-a took him to the-a hospital. The doctors said he was in something called a 'coma'. Oh Fratello, what's a co-" Feliciano didn't get a chance to finish his question, because I hung up sending a text to all the bastards that wasted time looking in the town. 'Damn, not even Feli's man-whore thought to check the hospital! I ran into the hospital and finally got his room number after cussing out the damn nurse. I raced in the room only to see Antonio in a coma. 'No No No!' I screamed in my head.

"Oh no… Antonio. You bastard…" I kneeled by his bed. I griped his almost lifeless hand and rested my head down, finally letting the tears fall. "Antonio… I'm so sorry. Please. You're not a bastard, I was all wrong." There was no response from him what so ever. Not a muscle moved or twitched. At this my heart sank , and the tears soaked his gown. They rolled down my cheeks onto the many tubes hooked to my Spaniard. The machine pumped his breath for him, and I heard the mechanical beeping of his heart rate monitor. The sterile smell, the… wait, what was that on his collar bone? I pull his gown back to see a bloody, gauze patched, 'x' carved deep across his chest. This broke me. My heart shattered into my chest, the emotional pain turning physical as the hollow void in my torso filled with horrible feelings. The tears could not be stopped. Paying no mind to the I.V.'s and tubes I gripped his now frail shoulders in my hands, my eyes swollen, red, and endlessly pouring out my pain. I didn't know what to do, or what to say. He did this to himself, because of me… At this thought, any fear of him leaving me or breaking my heart faded. I was being a dick, protecting my heart but subjecting his to eternal, cruel, torture in the process; a living hell. I could not stop my words, they flowed onward infinitely, no mind paid to my own well being.

"Please Antonio, come back! You idiot! I need you! I need you here with me damn it! I want you to come in at the wrong times and annoy me and jump into my shower! I want you to lecture me on my speeding tickets. I promise I won't cuss you out in the middle of the night and I'll never say no to sex! Please Tony! I'll do anythi-ing! Please, be okay! Please, come baaaack. Please come and live with me and never leave my side! I won't be able to do anything without you! I was a horrible person, I was a fucking blind dumbass! I was afraid you would leave me, I was afraid you would hurt me! But I was stupid! You were the only one, the only one that was _ever_ there for me! You were always there caring for me. When you said you loved me, I didn't believe you, but I understand now! I believe you Tony! I love you with all my heart! I don't care if you believe me, or if you can even hear me! I'm telling you now! Antonio Fernandez Carriedo I love you more than _anyone_ and I always will! I will tell you every day and make you hear it so much you get fucking sick of it! Tony I always have and will love you, so please… please come back." I rested my forehead on his the tears running down my face onto his now pale features, I was probably imagining the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. I took his hand in mine and rested my head on him, crying loudly in to his thigh. Finally my hand felt a weak squeeze. I looked up, my tears stopping for a split second, and see his eyes barely crack open. I smile and hug his hand.

"You heard me. As long as you don't leave my side, I won't leave yours." I sat on his bed and rested my head on his chest. I thought I was never happy, but I realize; I was only happy when I was with him.


End file.
